Ask Chyler – The Bullied And The Beast
May 21, 2018 at 8:44 pm #1818
Thank you for taking the time to read our CCO Chyler Leigh’s article THE BULLIED AND THE BEAST. Please let us know what questions you have for Chyler regarding the issues of bullying in this article. Our friend Hailey (owner of the Chyler Leigh Network) will be reviewing and then presenting your questions to Chyler for a future Q&A session on the topic of bullying. Details to come for this event, but post your questions now as a reply to this forum. Depending on the interest for this topic, we’ll determine the best platform to present this discussion to you. The larger the response, the bigger we can go! This project is part of our #OperationOrange initiative to end cyber-bullying within our community and beyond. 🧡May 22, 2018 at 4:42 pm #1835
I’m looking forward to seeing all your questions. If you have any concerns or anything about this, please don’t hesitate to reach out to myself or someone on Create ChangeMay 22, 2018 at 6:26 pm #1837
I read your article in a different light.
While I’ve never been bullied in the usual form of the word, I have been bullied by my own mind (depression, self injury) and the like of negative thoughts.
Do you find that regardless of the form, any shape of it can affect the person we become or the person we struggle to be?May 22, 2018 at 7:28 pm #1838
I’ve always wondered if there’s good response to be bullied. Recently, I was position where someone called me a not so nice name (female dog). At time I couldn’t respond because I had to be professional but I’d love to know if there is way to stand up for yourself but also not stool to there level. In that situation, all I could do was take it. I had push thru because i was in “charge” and couldn’t break professionalism.
And In response to that, is there way prevent yourself from feeling so lousy after being called a name. I literally broke down after, not in front everyone but privately a bit (and writing this hard cuz said person is likely reading this)… a part me thinking I was that name and another for not understand why people can’t be respectful and another for not thinking I was enough to receive respect. How to handle yourself once your head goes down to all the negative how they made you feel if that make sense?
Lastly, what think about being purposely left out as form of bullying?May 23, 2018 at 9:16 am #1839
I haven’t told my story about how I was bullied, because I was nervous that in some way, some how it would come back to bite me. I am still very hesitant about posting this story. I have kept coming back and re-editing, and making sure there is no way that I could get it trouble with this… even though I did nothing wrong. So, here it is. It started when I was about 9/10 years old, with my (old) gymnastics coach. She would scream at me if I didn’t get something right the first time. If I got injured, she would just throw me to the side and work with the kids she thought could make it big. She could go to either extreme… totally ignoring me, or screaming at me. I was terrified and miserable, but I thought that, that was the only way. One day, I don’t know why, but it hit me. I realized I shouldn’t be miserable everyday and it was not okay. I decided to leave, when I was about 12. So we set up a meeting with the coach. She started the meeting calm, until I told her I was leaving, then she blew her top. Yelling hurtful words, like “what did I ever do to you,” or “good luck finding someone to deal with your fear” and “you’ll never find anyone who will deal with you and your fear.” After that meeting, I left. A few weeks after I left, the people who I thought were my best friends, blocked me on instagram. Some of them still have me blocked to this day. Soon after, I realized the coach had told them to block me. It made me feel horrible… still does to this day. When I went to move on, and find a new coach, I ended up training at some old gyms, to keep my strength up. She called just about every gym I went to and threatened them so they wouldn’t take me. She even called my current coach and tried to threaten him. She tried to sabotage me in so many ways. Now, it has been about four years since I left. I struggle with anxiety and other issues. I can’t say everything I struggle with now was from that whole (3 yr) incident, but I can’t say that a some of what I struggle with now is from that. Sorry for my long story, but I feel talking about your story helps. It might seem like what happened to me was nothing bad, but it did take a toll on me. I also know this story can’t compare to Chyler Leigh’s story. But, I have some questions.
My first question for Chyler is; how did you deal with problems, mentally? Many people are ashamed to admit that they have struggles. Do you think it helps to talk about your struggles?
My second question for Chyler is; have you ever felt like you are sinking or disappearing or just in a funk, and had no idea why? If so, what is your advice to feel better?
My third question is; how did you come to be the amazing kind, sweet women you are today, given that you were even bullied in your own household?
To end this, I just want to say thank you. Going to watch you an Nathan in concert made me so happy, and to this day, when I am sad or down, I listen to your music… and I smile.May 26, 2018 at 7:36 am #1872
I’ve read chyler’s article it really hit home. Bullying takes so much from you. I’ve been bullied from a very young age in fact soon as I started school yes it was from children but the worse was from a teacher it was relentless everyday been called names fat stupid useless and oh you think your so privalaged cause your parents own a shop…. Well actually as a child all I thought was why why me why do they hate me so. I had nightmares I wet the bed eventually I told my parents they was gutted I’d had yo go through this. I moved schools and I hoped it was the end but again it followed me it reared its head OK this time it was just kids but boy that’s bad enough this went on all way through teens/high-school everyday my life just wasn’t worth it I couldn’t handle it anymore so I turned to drink and I thought it was my only friend it helped me forget helped me get away from it. I left school hoping that it wouldn’t follow me but as sure as I can be it did people still calling me fat dumb stupid so again I turned to my friend drink it took it away from me. I struggled so much with my feelings I’d know one I could turn to to say hey I’m just me I darnt come out and say I’m bisexual because yes I knew it would rear its ugly head so I just kept it to me and I only shared it with my only friend drink. Time went on and I got married but again it arrived in the form of my husband yep bullied mentally and physically beaten thrown down stairs I was like am I so worthless I eventually managed to break away albeit through hospital. I tried to rebuild myself so I moved away and yep it followed me!! What do I have to do to get it to go. After along time I found myself in the rooms of AA this is where I eventually found a new friend it was me…. I found it was OK to be me it’s OK to love. Who I want to love it’s OK to be big beautiful and bisexual I started to see less and less of it. Fast forward a few years and I adopted a wee boy he had FAS and RAD he makes everything worth living for I tell him everyday it’s OK to be different he battles everyday of his life with his disabilities and guess what it found him at school I can’t believe that it could be so cruel to attack a child with so many difficulties but it does and what’s worse it’s got stronger due to social media!!! Cyberbully yep he’s had it all for once I was like I want it back leave my boy take me again but I’ve learned now I don’t and won’t give in to it I’ve got someone to fight it for and I do it everyday I will take it on in what ever form it takes ie face to face cyber what ever. Yes it’s still there but no longer will I let it win. I’m kerry I’m a mum I’m 8 years sober and I will love whoever I want to love. KerryMay 26, 2018 at 9:46 pm #1873
I don’t feel that I was or am so much bullied as put down by others for being to positive, nice and quiet. On the other side when I try to be outspoken I come across as negative or hurtful.
One of my inquaries (though I feel vulnerable asking) is
Example: Someone is frustrated or hyped up about something and I say something positive to try and get them to calm down, see the upside, or see a different perspective but they immediately shoot down what I say. I am hurt that they won’t take what I say seriously and my words get blown off (so I go silent), but if I raise my voice/tone to be heard then I get into trouble for being mean or “not me”. I feel like I have trouble fitting in (even within my own family). Any thoughts?
On a side note I was reading others questions and I really like the ones Jada posted. I too am curious to know Chyler’s take on them.May 27, 2018 at 12:36 am #1874
I personally and thankfully have never been bullied but I do not stand for bullying and feel for those who have had to go through it. I always want to and try to help as much people as I can whether it’s people on social media or friends/family in my life. I was wondering what’s your advice on how I could go about helping others who have/are being bullied and helping those who are doing the bullying? And how to pitch in to help stop bullying in general?
Thank you for your time!! <3May 27, 2018 at 8:18 am #1875
I forgot to ask chyler do you think you can ever get over the scars from bullyingMay 27, 2018 at 3:12 pm #1888
Sorry, I made a typing error, it was supposed to say “I can’t say everything I struggle with now was from that whole (3 yr) incident, but I *can* say that a some of what I struggle with now is from that.”June 9, 2018 at 8:01 pm #1902
I was bullied since my 5 years old. Most of my bullier it was my teachers then I grew up think that I’m not worth because if a role model as teachers tell you that you’re shit, stupid and not worth it, you believe it. I had one teacher that use to hit me just because I was bad in math. I grew up think that I’m stupidest and not worth…. My question is:
How can we believe that we are worth when there’s people that should be an example for us and this people smash our feelings?
What do I have to do to believe that my life is worth it? Because, I can’t see that way.June 9, 2018 at 8:33 pm #1903
I think one of the biggest questions I have in reguards to bullying is: what kind of advice do you give to someone who is being bullied? I was bullied as a child and every time I’d go to my mom for advice she’d simply tell me “it happenes to everyone” which, as you can imagine, isn’t really want you wanna hear when you’re crying cause someone is being awful to you. My sisters are also at that age where they are starting to deal with bullying and I wanna be able to give them advice that’s a little better than “it happens to everyone”, but I never know what to say. So, I’m just wondering, what kind of advice would you give to your kids, or any kid that’s dealing with bullying, that might actually help or comfort them?June 10, 2018 at 5:49 pm #1904
I’m french ambassador of “ THE POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE” (PMA) , we help people find their motivations to live their lives in a positive way. Become the best version of herself.
So I want to know, WHAT IS YOUR POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE, YOUR MOTIVATIONS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE BETTER ?
BOOM ! #PMAJune 10, 2018 at 6:28 pm #1905
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is being bullied by their family if they can’t get out of that environment yet? and how can someone overcome the feeling of not being enough after being raised with that thought?June 11, 2018 at 6:06 am #1906
I find it interesting how even though I’ve never been bullied (a point which my dad frequently points out as to my “lack of issues”) and yet I still found myself relating to the article.
Sometimes we don’t have to be bullied in the general sense by others. Sometimes our bullying can come from our own minds. Even seeking out help or being put on meds can’t stop our internal thoughts from bullying us. I know. I’ve tried both and yet those negative aspects, the mental bullying, still get in the way.
What are some of the coping mechanisms you use to either combat being bullied by others or the mental bullying?
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