Not Alone

[Tohnya McDowellParticipant]

Honestly, I don’t know how I’m here again. Every up seems to have an even deeper fall. I’m lying here on my back and this time, is it okay to stay?

My mind feels like a prison, I guess I’m a prisoner to my mind. Still, I tell everyone that everything is fine. Plaster on that fake smile while I think to myself, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Suicide laughs from the sidelines saying, “Put me in coach, she’s ready to be done.”

It’s so much effort to get up. To be present; to stay.

I’m losing days – time I can’t get back and I’m spending it trying to survive.

I wish there were a reset button or a pause to life. For everyone struggling to take a deep breath and feel peace. To hear quiet.

I’m grasping at the sides to pull myself up, but the weight of my heart is heavy and the way up is long. I’m exhausted.

Where do I go from here?

Take a deep breath and keep breathing to remind myself that I’m alive. I wipe my tear stained face and take the hands that are extended out to me. The voices in my head that tell me I should give up have forgotten that I’m not in this fight alone.

I am not alone.

[Michael HollowayParticipant]

I hope people don’t think I’m making light of this serious situation (I’m a suicide attempt survivor myself), but music can really help in my beliefs and opinions. Amy Grant’s song You’re Not Alone has lyrics I feel can really help in times of crisis.

“I saw you walking by yourself
Your eyes were crying out for help
I know you feel your pain is more
Than anyone’s been hurt before
I know love hurts when it’s over
If you wanna cry it’s all right
You’re like a fallen soldier
But you just can’t lay down and die

You’ve got to remember you’re not alone in this world
Always remember you’re not alone in this world

The moment that I looked at you
I recognized the killing truth
You really think there’s no way out
But if you let me, I can help you now
Through all these shattered emotions
There’s a lesson to learn
So come on let me hold you closer
Love can soothe what love has burned

You’ve got to remember you’re not alone in this world
Always remember you’re not alone in this world
You’ve got to remember
Never alone, never alone, never, never alone

I got to tell you baby
Through all these shattered emotions
There’s a lesson to learn
So come on let me hold you closer
Love can soothe what love has burned

You’ve got to remember you’re not alone in this world
Always remember you’re not alone in this world

You’ve got to remember (got to remember) you’re not alone in this world
Always remember (always remember)
You’re not alone in this world”.

Cheers, Mikey

[Author]

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