It really does feel like taking two steps forward comes with one step back. I have decided to go private for my top surgery (NHS wait times are ridiculous – I’ve been on it for 2 years already and expecting another 6 before I even have my first appointment, not to mention surgery) and have started asking for donations/fundraising. On one hand, I’m extremely excited, nervous, feel guilty for asking and feel privilaged I’m in a position to try and go private. On the other, I find it so hard to face the big text/forms/researching the best way… I am SO incredibly lucky to have friends (you know who you are) that are helping me, but recently I am so tired of having things I want/need dangled in front of me after so long of it not being an option only for it to be nudged further away with each step.

I have also started up a local LGBTQ+ group in my town, which is very early stages but vital for those who have come along already. I so want it to work but afraid of myself getting in the way. I started chaos on a residents page asking if any businesses would like a flag sticker saying ‘everyone welcome here’ (98% of responses were amazing) but 4 people got into an absolute rage about it. I find it hilarious that they’re so angry over a sticker, and water off a ducks back, it doesn’t affect me (again, have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who taught me that) but if I could just find that feeling I had with this situation and applied it to other things, like top surgery, I would be unstoppable… It’s just figuring out how to do so.